Being a Parent Based Overseas

A recent Facebook post by a good friend and meet-up with girlfriends triggered this post to pen my thoughts about being a domestic engineer. The past one year plus had been like an exciting F1 race for my family and I. We relocated to two different countries and moved houses for four times. To Ms Heng's standard, this is crazy kind of life and this kind of life will go on until buddha knows when...

To many friends and people, it may seemed to them that stay-at-home mummies (SAHM) are tais tais and enjoying life with rich husbands bringing the bread home. What they saw were the happy smiley photos posted on blogs and facebook. But they did not see the other side of the picture.

A SAHM is a 24/7 job and no time for MCs or leave. MCs and leave are the entitlements that I can get to enjoy only when I am back to SG for hols. Of course, sometimes Weikai do also take care of Lezane on his off days so that I can get a breather. Even doing an hour grocery shopping without the kids can be a good form of therapy. When daddy has to be outstationed, mummy has to be even more independent in handling the kids all on her own.

Not only do we have to take care of their health, we have to ensure that Kyla and Lezane's educational level is on par with Singapore standards, lest they have difficulties in catching up when we return to base. This is the stressful part. I have to be alot more disciplined in teaching them Mandarin, Math and Science. In this aspect (and many other aspects), I really admire my sister-in-law, who is without any domestic helper now, being so dedicated in homeschooling her four kids and giving them an enriching life (leaving that only little time for herself). I definitely cannot give up that much of my time for my kids. I think I will end up in mental hospital.

A very hands-on spouse is definitely a must before one can even start thinking of relocation. And for this matter, I am very thankful that Weikai is one such spouse. A friend of mine once said, when you are overseas, it is very very important that the husband and wife must work as a team. I totally agree, especially so with regards to the mental state of the couple.

Although being an expat mum is very physically and emotionally challenging, I think I have grown in many aspects. I grew to be alot more independent and emotionally stronger in the mind. Kyla and Lezane too grew to be more adaptable, more open-minded, more outspoken and more independent (but i do hope they can sleep in their own rooms soon thou). I am also thankful that we are blessed with supportive friends in wherever we are. They are the ones who add cheer to our overseas postings, other than our family.

Side track, I must be more hardworking in keeping my blog alive...