Being a Parent Based Overseas

A recent Facebook post by a good friend and meet-up with girlfriends triggered this post to pen my thoughts about being a domestic engineer. The past one year plus had been like an exciting F1 race for my family and I. We relocated to two different countries and moved houses for four times. To Ms Heng's standard, this is crazy kind of life and this kind of life will go on until buddha knows when...

To many friends and people, it may seemed to them that stay-at-home mummies (SAHM) are tais tais and enjoying life with rich husbands bringing the bread home. What they saw were the happy smiley photos posted on blogs and facebook. But they did not see the other side of the picture.

A SAHM is a 24/7 job and no time for MCs or leave. MCs and leave are the entitlements that I can get to enjoy only when I am back to SG for hols. Of course, sometimes Weikai do also take care of Lezane on his off days so that I can get a breather. Even doing an hour grocery shopping without the kids can be a good form of therapy. When daddy has to be outstationed, mummy has to be even more independent in handling the kids all on her own.

Not only do we have to take care of their health, we have to ensure that Kyla and Lezane's educational level is on par with Singapore standards, lest they have difficulties in catching up when we return to base. This is the stressful part. I have to be alot more disciplined in teaching them Mandarin, Math and Science. In this aspect (and many other aspects), I really admire my sister-in-law, who is without any domestic helper now, being so dedicated in homeschooling her four kids and giving them an enriching life (leaving that only little time for herself). I definitely cannot give up that much of my time for my kids. I think I will end up in mental hospital.

A very hands-on spouse is definitely a must before one can even start thinking of relocation. And for this matter, I am very thankful that Weikai is one such spouse. A friend of mine once said, when you are overseas, it is very very important that the husband and wife must work as a team. I totally agree, especially so with regards to the mental state of the couple.

Although being an expat mum is very physically and emotionally challenging, I think I have grown in many aspects. I grew to be alot more independent and emotionally stronger in the mind. Kyla and Lezane too grew to be more adaptable, more open-minded, more outspoken and more independent (but i do hope they can sleep in their own rooms soon thou). I am also thankful that we are blessed with supportive friends in wherever we are. They are the ones who add cheer to our overseas postings, other than our family.

Side track, I must be more hardworking in keeping my blog alive...

New Year New Home

Our big living room
Small Kitchen

Kids playing in the living rm

WK fixing the cupboards

The past month had been busy busy busy. We returned to Singapore for a short holiday and came back to the cold wintry CPH to shift house. This is our 4th time shifting house this year (sounds crazy right!).

This shift was a little crazy as the house came without lights and we got to know it only after we took over the keys. I was shocked when I realised there were no lights. WK was lost for words too. Apparently, when you rent an apt or hse in Denmark, it comes with nothing. You are given a freehand to design the house. (hahahah.... to us, we thought lights were the basic). Hence, immediately, we rushed to IKEA to get all the tools we need- drill set, screws, lights, etc etc. I am a goner when it comes to fixing things and hence WK automatically became the Tay's Handy Manny fixing lights and assembling all the furniture around the house. I was in charge of packing and unpacking. Finally, after 3 days of intensive unpacking, our new place is finally set up.

I am so thankful that our kid were patient and cooperative during this period of time. Otherwise the shift would be much more of a hassle. Some pictures of our new house above.....

3rd Month

It had been only 3 mths that we have been here in Copenhagen but it seemed like a long time. We did quite abit of travelling within Denmark and the kids are loving this country. They have made friends and we (WK and I) have also made quite a number of friends, which makes CPH a much nicer place to live in amidst the super cold, gloomy weather during this period of time.

We have more or less settled down but we are going to shift to our new place (nearer school) in 3 weeks time. Sigh.....We have to start exploring the new place again. As much as I dislike the current house, I am going to miss the convenience of the place (supermarkets, amenities and shopping) are within 5 - 10min walk) and the big garden, where the children love to play. Positively, shifting to the new place will reduce my travelling time to school by more than half. But it also means travelling to work will be much further for Wk, and he will then be home later too. Well, we can never have the best of both worlds.

I am dreading the amount of packing and unpacking soon. sigh....

初雪

My Little Penguin, Lezane (a term coined by Kyla)

It is really exciting seeing falling snow flakes for the first time. It is indeed really beautiful especially when it falls in the night. Kyla and Lezane loved the falling snow when they first saw it early in the morning. Also, they got really excited when they saw me scrapping the snow off our car and they loved stepping their boots into the snow covered garden, marking their footprints. This 2010 Christmas will be mark the first white Christmas for the Tays and the first Christmas to be spent overseas.

It is Not Easy Making Friends

Lately, I have been trying to observe how Kyla interacts with her classmates. She has always been one of the earlier attendees and she would also look out of the door to see if her preferred playmates (K and E) have arrived so that she could play with them. However, most of the time, her preferred classmates tend to feel differently about her playing with them.

Kyla would always greet them enthusiastically but somehow, they could be rather 'cold' towards her. If K and E were both in class, they would tend to stick together and ignore Kyla. Like today, they would say to each other, "here she comes again" in a rather displeased tone, which disturbed me quite abit. I wonder if Kyla heard them. If she would, I think she would be hurt. (Maybe, that explained why she kept asking me to bake things for her classmates to gain attention and acceptance). But if either one of them is missing, they would play with Kyla. Kyla is like a replacement friend, which I do not feel good about it. However, even if no one plays with her, she can be also happy playing by herself (which happens most of the time). She did tell me that most of the time when she tried to play with the rest, they do not want to let her join in their circle and she would end up playing by herself. I do not feel good hearing that thou. She is like an outcast. I guess it would take some time for her to develop a good relationship with her 'angmoh' friends. Having no close friends does not dampen her mood in going to school. She still enjoys going to school everyday. I am heartened to have such a a very happy and optimistic girl. :-)

Trick or Treat 2010

Halloween was a 'big' thing for Kyla's school. The parents teachers association (PTA) organised a yearly affair to go tricking or treating in one of the neighbourhoods. Kyla had been looking forward to the Halloween as we had bought her a princess dress and we had been decorating our house. Lezane, too, had a spiderman suit,which was not put to use at all.

Weikai and I were surprised at the scale of how the homes were decorated. The families put in alot of effort to make it look gory and eerie. Many had skeletons, hanging ghosts, graveyards and eerie background music to up the atmosphere by a notch. Initially, Kyla was taken aback and she was scared. She held on to my hands really tightly whenever we went knocking on the doors, which explains very badly taken photos (WK couldnt help much coz he was carrying the then sleeping Lezane). At times, I would squeal too when a ghost or vampire suddenly popped out of nowhere.

Overall, I must say it was quite an eye opener for all of us and I am sure we will be back treating again next year...

Autumn Break

This week is the start of the second semester. So what have we done for the autumn break?

Actually, nothing much. We were pretty much kept at home except to visit a playground and Tivoli Gardens for Halloween. The week of holiday would mean lots of planning for me ahead of time to keep the kids gainfully engaged at home. The kids schedule were packed with learning and supermarketing with mummy almost everyday.

Everyday, the kids would have their breakfast and it would be followed by one to two hours of lapbooking. After that, it would be lunch and nap. After their nap, we would then continue with activities such as lego building, baking, playing outside if the weather permits. The kids would then wait for daddy to come home for dinner where they can watch TV (favorite activity of the day) and it would be just play for the rest of the night. That pretty much summed up what they have been doing.